Bowling was never something I looked forward to. I was always bad at it, with the balls always ending up in the gutter, no fallen pins whatsoever. Whenever it was my turn, I had to brace myself for the agony of onlooker’s judgments, friends’ poorly hidden disappointment, and my own shame. So when my previous company announced that the annual bowling event was approaching, I tried to find ways to get out of it. But of course, I ended up going anyway. I realized it was a good thing, otherwise I never would’ve learned what bowling taught me about life.

At first, I just threw a few obligatory balls for “participation points”. But eventually, the crowd started to clear and one of my close friends urged me to play. Knowing she wasn’t one to judge, and since there were prizes for strikes, I decided to grit my teeth and play some more. Surprisingly, I won my very first strike of the night. The feeling was exhilarating! I couldn’t stop jumping. I never thought it was possible for someone as bad at bowling as me.

Actual footage of me after my first strike

I ended up staying longer, encouraged by the strike. The night went on with me winning some, losing some (gutter balls), getting disheartened and self-conscious, but finding the courage to try again.

The lesson bowling taught me about life:

I realize that life is very much like that. Sometimes we win, gain the respect and admiration from people, and then feel pressured to maintain that status. At other times we fail, lose face, and stop for a while, weighing the options: to try again, fail, and go through the embarrassment a second time, or to never take a chance, safe from shame but never knowing what it is to succeed.

When I stood up and bowled again despite the fear of getting consecutive gutter balls again, I took the first choice…and was able to win 3 strikes. Not in a row of course. There were still gutter balls sometimes, but I kept at it, observing how I threw the ball, calculating where I would drop it. Eventually, I heard someone comment that though the balls I threw moved so slow, almost at a glacial pace, it still ended up bowling over a lot of pins. Slow but steady, I guess that was my bowling style. Not just in this game, I realized, but also in real life.

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I’m always so careful about the things I do, always doing prior research, planning, and all that to ensure zero to the least amount of mistakes possible. But in the end, bowling made me realize that sometimes, you have to make those mistakes to discover how to play or do things better. Sure, planning is essential. But if we get caught up in all that, sometimes the challenges overwhelm us. We end up not taking action at all. Which is why we need to do something to learn it. Reading and theorizing might get you close to being an expert about something, but not quite. You have to actually DO it.

I guess if you had someone cheering you on like this, it would be easier.

There’s no substitute for getting out there and trying your hand at the dreams you want to make true. I know this advice applies to me more than anyone. I’ve been hiding my ideas or just writing about them for years, always scared of criticism or failure. But then again, failure is what brings you to success and wisdom. To fail is to succeed, if you do it right. So we need to shape up and start that project and actually work to make our dreams come true. Otherwise, no strikes will ever come.

If you liked this, read Time is Ticking: Pursue Your Dreams Now.

photo of half body of a person holding a bowling ball with text "What Bowling Taught Me About Life" in the foreground
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